Needless to say, Daphne and I feverishly continued to text each other every day. My nightly and morning sentimental quotes seemed to improve her spirits daily. Obviously, it’s difficult to tell through texts, but she seemed energized and excited after my first message in the morning and thankful and eased at night after my nightly passage. In turn, her emotions energized and uplifted me making each day of this depressed person better. Daphne and I both welcomed all of the communication and the reprieve it brought. We were subconsciously helping each other’s mental state be more positive, supported, and encouraged. I myself would constantly be glancing at my phone longing for the next message.
Most notably, Daphne mentioned how she may have to go back to stripping again because she was running low on money. We talked ab out her getting a traditional office job with her recently-acquired business degree. With my big mouth, I had to tell her that’s “the trap of being a dancer,” meaning it is hard to escape stripping due to the easy cash, which sometimes can come in large quantities. I did tell her I supported her stripping for as long as she could do it because, as many of you know, office jobs are awful (think of the movie Office Space), particularly when you are just starting your career. I also took the opportunity to take another jab at her always hitting me up for exactly $300 every time we met at the strip club. I effectively told her that she was actually short-changing herself in doing so and that if all she ever wanted in life was $300 then that was all she was ever going to get. That was meant to say that yes stripping is easy money, but there is a cap on how much you will ever make and that if you want to live with such caps then you need to strive for more. I also reminded her of the time she took my $300 at the club and took off never to be seen. Naturally, the jabs were subconsciously meant to hurt her just a little as retribution for the hurt she caused me. I figured it was my right to quip a little. She apologized again, but the conversation inevitably started making her uncomfortable and I immediately changed the subject.
Since I couldn’t make it out to Daphne’s invite the night after the Mexican rendezvous, I plotted my next attempt to meetup by asking her to be my restaurant buddy to explore all the new restaurants that opened in our area. We settled on a restaurant near her that she had been to before, but that I had always wanted to go to due to its pseudo-celebrity chef. At first she said she may have plans with a friend, but ultimately they did not make plans together, so she was good to go. This conversation was on a Thursday for a Saturday date. And then it came on Friday, when Daphne told me she got a promotional modeling job for Saturday and couldn’t go. However, she asked me if I could go that night, Friday, but I couldn’t due to prior plans with a friend visiting from out of town. She apologized for messing our plans up. Daphne hadn’t worked in months and needed the money, so I told her she should definitely work and that I understood. However, in the back of my mind I’m wondering if this is just another one of her disses. I did not know at that point, so I left it alone. Although, that Friday night was one of the few that I did not text her my usual good-night message.
On the Saturday of her gig, I did not message her my typical morning greeting either. We only texted a few times that day, but I did wish her well. The sudden drop off in texts made me suspicious again that she was going to flee from my life again. Again, that night I did not send her my patented soppy quote. The next morning, Sunday, I waited to see if she would text me, then finally texted her at noon to ask her how the modeling event went for her. I anxiously waited for a reply throughout the day, then the day turned to night and still nothing. WTF! Here we go again I thought. Daphne is actually going to drop out of my life again after all of our recent bonding! I thought we were past those times and those personalities. Based on her past behavior, I had no reason to believe she was not repeating the same pattern. Of course I did not text my sentiments again that night or the next morning.
Bright and early on Monday, I finally got a “good morning.” It didn’t matter that day, I was hurt and still wondering WTF. I texted her just to state that it was a “yucky Monday” and that was all I messaged that day. Daphne did not attempt anymore texts either on that Monday. Tuesday morning came and Daphne asked if it was a “yucky Tuesday.” However, she was more communicative and seemed more sprite. Everything was seemingly back to the way it had become since February 16 and we texted continuously throughout that Tuesday. I don’t know if she really did have a modeling event that night or if she just needed an excuse for her cold feet. I never asked and still do not know today. With the resumption of our constant texting, I asked her some deeper questions that day hoping to get more pieces of her and also in hopes of keeping her engaged. I felt like I had to dig a little deeper again to keep the conversations from becoming superfluous since I had just revisited that feeling of losing her again. That night, I resumed my quotes, but just said “sweet dreams” (weak for me).